Another formerly removed Entry...

Another formerly removed blog entry...I am back and so are my blogs....ya don't like it?...I don't care...honestly...sorry...no really i'm not....lol


Friday, September 16, 2005
Ok...I am editing this post b/c a couple of the girls complimented me on the pic...well actually Lane took the pic and honestly I didn't think it looked "sultry" I thought it looked pissed off....lol THAT is why I chose it for THIS blog entry....but ty girlies for boostin my ego ONCE again...lol like I need anymore "confidence" right now...I have so much right now (thanks to Mohican and all the women at Diabetic Mommy), people are going to dread having to deal with me!O M G.....forewarning: this is going to be a bitchfest blog....NOT intended for male viewing!!!!FOUL LANGUAGE ALERT! *don't say you weren't warned....WHY oh WHYYYYYY do they make friggin "feminine" hygiene products such CRAP?!....Ok...get out of the shower...put on clean panties....put pad in panties....pad refuses to stick to panties so you friggin wiggle and adjust until the pad is "in the right place" then you make sure your panties are snug enough to hold the NON-STICK pad in place....pull pants/jeans into place...take TWO friggin' steps and the m-f-er slips to the side....the f**king tape that wouldn't stick 30 seconds ago is now stuck to the inside of your leg AND to whatever hair/stubble is on your cooch?! how in the HELL does it do that?!....insta-stick, just add skin and/or hair?! UGHHHHHHH..... Then you realize that you have "overflowed" your tampon so you take it out only to realize obviously only HALF of it was absorbent?! more blood made it past than got drawn IN?!Not only that, why is it that when you call the gynecologists office and tell them you are bleeding like a stuck hog and you are starting to worry b/c you didn't even lose this much blood when you gave birth to a HUGE baby (ok, I wasn't bleeding THAT bad, but pretty damn close), they say "this is not uncommon...we will see you in 2 1/2 weeks...."?! what is THAT about?! or they tell you not to worry...hm ok lets see I could sink the titanic with the amount of bodily fluid I have just lost out my nah-nah and you are telling me "don't stress?!"....wtf ever!So you sit and wait the 2 1/2 weeks, it felt more like 2 1/2 years, and then you get there and they have you sit in a waiting room the size of a small broom closet with 2 pregnant women who are obviously miserable, 3 old women whose stuff has probably not been used in years, and 1 nasty skank who sends off a certain smell every time she rearranges her legs?! Anyways you sit there for like 3 hours trying to breathe through your mouth so you don't smell what is creepin....they finally call you back tell you to change into the paper breezy they have set on the end of the table, then they crank the air up (or down i guess) to about 40*....now comes another freak of a phenomenon...it is so cold you can see your breath yet your arse is sweating and sticking to the tissue paper "covering" the exam table that you are sitting on...so whenever you move it tears! Then the doctor FINALLY comes in and asks you to scoot to the end of the table...Just as you try to scoot the whole friggin piece of paper decides to stick like that insta-stick pad right to the cheeks of your arse! and it rips a huge hole so now your arse is sitting in the same spot that my have held the arse of the skank from the waiting room! EWWWWWWWW....To make matters worse when you lay on your back and they "put your feet in the stirrups" you look up and some smartass has put a "cute" little messege such as "smile" or "count the stars" on the friggin ceiling??!!! Just as you begin to involuntarily "count the stars" your legs are pried apart, and 2 seconds before the exam starts he "warns" you with a "you are going to feel cold wet fingers...", then jams 'em up there! after ripping your cervix open with those cold wet fingers they put the friggin' Salad Tongs in there and open them to full extension...not only are these things cold, they pinch like a mo-fo when they release them to take them out?! (don't act like you never got your "lips" pinched with the salad tongs...if you haven't you have never experienced a REAL vag. exam....)Then the MALE doctor sits down and tells you, the female who has ragged since you were like 9, that everything "looks norma"l and that, even though you have fibroids the size of golf balls, there is nothing they can do until they cause "real problems"....hm has this moron EVER laid in bed for 2 days with cramps that are so bad they made him puke? has he ever been out in public and bled so bad that he had to put a BLANKET on the car seat to keep from messing up the interior? has he EVER had someone just put him through the routine i described moments earlier?...hm, unless he is a transsexual, or unless he once had a cooch instead of his "stuff"...the answer is NO.... and I have to wonder what constitutes "real" problems?!So you leave with no more answers than you went with, still picking little pieces of tissue paper off your crack, and wondering what in the hell you are going to make for supper...God, being a woman is great! I would take "turn your head and cough" any day!I don't ever wanna hear another man bitch to his wife/girlfriend/sister/mom that they have it bad next time they have to go to the doctor and have an anual check up and don't freak when they have a boner and "can't do anything about it".....just be glad you are not a woman....(this does not apply when they are having visiting a proctologist...but even then they need to realize at some point women go through THAT too!)